A comeback

I'm at my heaviest right now. It doesn'y give me the drive to write a lot, but all my problems seem to go away as I go. They'll be back but let me enjoy this right now. I'm really glad I kept another blog last year because I can get some ideas from there for my future weight loss and plans. Well I'm really stressed right now, between school, friends, being lonely and myself judging me ...I broke. Today I shutted down. I couldn't do anything school related or anything. My head ached like crazy and I just vanished. And my best idea waking up was to weigh myself. I'm just that dumb. Well I'm at 58 kilos right now, and last year I managed to get myself to 51 kgs...so that's my year goal for 2012 too, I'm alrady late...but oh well, I can always start over, but I'm so tired and with so much pressure. And I really want a relationship right now, not necessarily romantic but of any kind of human contact and acceptation. I'm so lonely. But I'm sure everything will be okay, at some point in my life when I'll feel good about myself and love me finally. Oh I long for that day....but everything has a start. My first move is to channel my priorities and put my whole effort according to the importance of each activity, I'll also make a monthly weight loss plan and diet guide. That will motivate me. After writing I get this feeling of peace and hope. I really want to keep it that way.

Love, J♥